Annie's Most Annoying People

Self-LOLers

anniesmostannoyingpeople — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 04:04:03 +0000

Laughing Out Loud is a wonderful thing. Erupting in spontaneous laughter is a true joy. But in this crazy, mixed-up space age of computers, communicating your LOLs can be tricky. The only way anyone would know you’re LOLing is to tell them. Fair enough. ”Brittany you’re so crazy, you make me laugh lol” But what really gets me (annoys me, rather) is when people type LOL…AT THEIR OWN COMMENT. “Just got back from the beach. I look good as a lobster lol” Really? Are you REALLY laughing out loud at what you just wrote to yourself, about yourself? If you are, frankly that’s a little weird. If you’re not, why the hell are you writing it? Let me, the reader, do the LOLing. Writing it yourself is a humor turn-off. You’ll receive no L’s from me. Self-LOLers, YOU ANNOY ME.

More AMAP Coming Soon!

anniesmostannoyingpeople — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 14:24:56 +0000

Stay tuned! -Annie

Excessive coughers.

anniesmostannoyingpeople — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 21:12:23 +0000

These people are trouble in group settings. They start out coughing a bit, once or twice, no big deal. But they keep coughing. And coughing. AND COUGHING. And finally you can’t possibly pay attention to the movie/play/wedding/bris going on because of their damn hacking. At a certain point, you’ve gotta give up the dream and leave the room, mister. You’ve crossed the line from minor throat irritation to potential swine flu carrier. Go get some freakin’ water already. YOU ANNOY ME.

Finger lickers.

anniesmostannoyingpeople — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 21:11:46 +0000

Ugh! These are people who always lick their fingers before turning a page. Now, I have no problem with this when the magazine or book in question belongs to the licker (although I do not want to borrow it). HOWEVER, I DO have a problem when these people insist on finger-licking public or store property. As a furniture salesperson, I show people catalogs on a regular basis and I have a physical reaction to seeing people anoint our catalog pages with their spit. What is wrong with you??

1) Other people will be forced to touch that page that you have contaminated.
2) You don’t know whose finger spit is already there!
3) Is turning a page without the help of your spit so difficult? Really?

As always, finger lickers, YOU ANNOY ME.

Chair kickers.

anniesmostannoyingpeople — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 21:10:55 +0000

These are the charming, considerate people who like to kick the back of your chair at a movie theater, on an airplane, or someone other set-up involving rows of chairs. The occasional kick is one thing–maybe the potential kicker is just shifting in his/her seat and happens to bump into the tray on the back of your chair. This is forgivable. However, I become slowly enraged when they just keep kicking and kicking and bumping and knocking and DRIVING ME UP THE WALL. If one day I end up in jail, it will probably be for killing a chair kicker. That is how strongly I feel about these a**holes. YOU ANNOY ME.

Wearers of pants I have to read.

anniesmostannoyingpeople — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 21:10:06 +0000

I’m sure you’ve seen these young women out and about in sweatpants advertising words across their asses. Maybe the pants spell out Victoria Secret’s “PINK”, maybe they spell the name of their alma mater, or maybe Juicy Couture.

Whatever it says, young lady, it forces me to read your butt. I don’t WANT to read your butt; I have no choice. It’s like a vanity plate–I don’t care what it says but I have to read it. Except in this case I’m not reading the ass of a car but a young woman, sometimes way TOO young. I’ve seen these pants on girls who can’t be more than 7 or 8 years old. It is so disturbing. Not only do I feel violated for being forced to stare at someone’s butt, the butt in question belongs to a pre-pubescent girl. I feel so dirty and it wasn’t even my idea!

Bleah. YOU ANNOY ME.

Women with pin-up tattoos.

anniesmostannoyingpeople — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 21:08:20 +0000

This post is inspired by Megan Fox. This trend is really bizarre to me: women who get a tattoo of a sexy naked lady. These tattoos are usually modeled after the classic Betty Page-style pinups (in Megan Fox’s case it’s Marilyn Monroe). This seems like the least empowering tattoo a woman could get. Do you want to be compared to the woman on your arm? Do you think having a curvy, sexy lady permanently stuck to you will make you more attractive? It seems like the equivalent of a guy getting a giant schlong tattoo. I’m sorry if I offended anyone but I just don’t get this trend. Ladies with sexy lady tattoos, YOU ANNOY ME.

Walk-away talkers.

anniesmostannoyingpeople — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 21:07:35 +0000

Grrrrrrrrrrrrr. These insanely annoying people ask you a question and then TURN THEIR BACK TO YOU AND WALK AWAY WHILE YOU ANSWER THEM. Or they walk away from you while asking you a question. Argh argh argh, so irritating. 1) I can’t hear you. 2) You can’t hear me. 3) It’s SO RUDE. I’m not going to chase you around like a daggone puppy to answer the question YOU just asked ME. Nuh-uh, no. Extra annoying points if the person turns his back and TAKES A PHONE CALL while you’re talking to him. I kill you, walk-away talkers. YOU ANNOY ME.

Women who act like little girls.

anniesmostannoyingpeople — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 20:57:43 +0000

Ew. This is just weird and wrong. These are grown women, maybe they even have children of their own, who try to act and sound like young girls. They dress at least 10 years younger than they are, they use a cutesy, high-pitched voice and generally try to be adorable at all times. I’m not saying you have to be dowdy and proper after the age of 18 but don’t try to act 9 years old when they’re 39. It’s not cute. It’s just creepy. YOU ANNOY ME.

Inappropriate concert yellers.

anniesmostannoyingpeople — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 20:56:22 +0000

I witnesesd this guy in action last night at the Andrew Bird concert at Cat’s Cradle. There was a dude somewhere to the left of me who kept yelling something, anything out whenever there was a silent moment or even while Andrew Bird was talking. Not everything requires a response, dude. And it may shock you to learn that there are OTHER PEOPLE at the show in addition to yourself. But then you know that, because why else would you keep trying to draw the attention to yourself? This douchenut yelled out, “Quit wasting time!” while Mr. Bird was telling a personal story before a song. Really? And then the audience boo’d him. But that didn’t stop this a-hole, oh no. He proceeded to carry on and even barked when Bird sang a lyric about dogs. Ugh. Audience participation is fine and dandy when appropriate. You are not, Mr. Yeller Ass. YOU ANNOY ME.